I Love To Diet!

I must because I have been doing it on and off for about 25 yrs. Yes, at age 16 I thought I was heavy at 130 pounds. Back then that was a junior size 13 or 15. My girlfriends were a 1 or 3. So needless to say I started dieting back then. Today, I would give my eye teeth to be 130 pounds.

Diets through the years in chronological order:

• Starving : Yes this was the teen years diet. Self explanatory. Lost some and gained it back.
• Wacky Weekly Diet: This was the diet that you ate goof-ball junk and the bizarre-ness made you lose weight. It was like b'fast - one hotdog, 1/2 cup cottage cheese and one beet. Then for lunch you ate 3 crackers and a piece of toast and then for dinner you had 1 cup ice cream with a chicken breast. You had this whole diet planned out for the week and you were supposed to drop like 10 pounds. Then you were off a week and then repeated. Again, lost some and gained it back.
• Cabbage Soup Diet: Gotta love this one. Eat all that wacky cabbage soup you can. That was fine the first 3 days, then by the time you opened the refrigerator door and saw that dreadful soup staring at you, you puked on the spot. More loss but gain back.
• Phen - Phen and Maj Ja Wong Stuff: Wow this stuff was powerful! I lost about 80 pounds with this stuff! It was fabulous. I was single and lovin' it. You were so hyper and never thought about food, REALLY! You were like vacuuming at three in the morning. You were so wound up. Granted it could put you in the grave with all of its breaking down the ventricular flaps in your heart (or whatever!) but man at least you were thin when they slid you in the coffin! Luckily God wasn't ready for me, so I am still here to write about it. Did enjoy the money I received from the class action law-suit that I signed a petition for though!
• Weight Watchers: God love them! They worked about 5 times. I went and lost and quit and gained and joined and lost and quit and gained and repeat 3 more times. I am too embarssed to go back anymore.
• Me Diet: This is the diet that I am on now. I call it the 'Me Diet' in tribute to Talladega Nights. That was his sponsor at the end. It's just ME. Anywho, I am counting my calories and walking! 25 pounds down at last check.

Wow, in writing all of that, I realize that I have put my body through a lot. I always joke and tell people that I have clothes in my closet from a size 2 to 22 and that is no Lie. Well, hopefully that last diet above will truly be the last diet!