Miss Manners

Never thought of myself as having great manners. Just thought of myself as an average Joe. However, working in the public in both teaching cooking classes and working in a retail environment, I have realized that lots of people truly have no manners. The weird thing is, I can't put a profile on it either. The rich, the poor, the middle roaders, the people who think they are rich but aren't and the people who want to act poor but aren't are all subject to having BAD manners. Here are some of my biggest pet peeves in no particular order. So if any of you out there do these, please stop the insanity. I am begging you!

Covering your Mouth:

• Sneezing - At what point do you think, I'll just spray this sneeze all over the room. It doesn't matter if you turn your head or not, it is still spraying. Stop IT! Not only is there germs flying around, there is also your nasty spit!
• Coughing - This could be a dry cough or a wet lung sludge cough. Whatever it is, I realize you must cough, just cover your mouth. Catch whatever phylm (sp?) comes flying out and for heavens sake wash your hands afterwards. (ESPECIALLY, if you are in my cooking class)
• Yawning - This is the hugest pet peeve of mine. No, I don't want to inspect your mouth and see if you still have your tonsils. There are 2 instances to this that bug me. Those that yawn when I or someone else is chatting. I realize I may be boring, but please wake yourself up. OR, those that yawn when they think no one is looking at them. Yes, I am looking and I saw that you have no manners and you yawned like a mother lion in the African Safari getting ready to chomp on some prey. STOP!

Licking your knife:

Is this a southern thing? Is that food so good that you don't want to miss not even one little drop that you raise that sharp pointy thing to your mouth and lick it clean? Really, did it taste that good? First of all that just looks rude. Second of all that is dangerous. Quit!

Common Phrases not spoken enough:

• Please - It's not so hard to say one little word. When asking anyone for anything, it is so easy and so nice to hear. Sometimes I'll throw it out there twice. i.e. Natalie, please, can you get Mommy another diet coke, PLEASE. See how easy that was...
• Thank You - I do hear this alot, but just not enough. I thank people for thanking me. Somebody will thank me for something and I'll say back, No, thank you. Wow, they either think I'm an idiot or really feel good. Either way, it gives them something to think about....
• I'm Sorry - What is the hang-up about this? Believe me, people really like to hear it. Somebody actually spilled something down my leg at work. Do you know what they said, 'Ooops'. What the heck does that mean, were you sorry, did you care? Have people ever heard 'you catch more flies with honey than vinegar'? Step up to the plate when the situation is bad and throw it out there. Let's all practice... "I'mmmm Sooorrrryyy".

Burping, Farting and other bodily noises:

Just stop this when in public. I know everyone passes gas. I know everyone burps, just stop doing it in front of ME! It's not cute when men do it, it's not cute when children do it. There is no reason to even let some big 'Hofbrau Haus' burp out and then think it is okay afterwards to say, "Excuse Me". Too late, I already was grossed out! Save all of that when you are alone or in the bathroom, then fart until you've deflated yourself.

So I hope I didn't offend anyone. I just had this rant that I needed to let loose on.... Thank you and I'm sorry....