Doctors Visits

First let me apologize to all my doctor friends. I have a few and this is not a personal slam at anyone just the business that you are in...

So, let me now begin my rant with 'What is up with the 3 part doctor visit when you go see a specialist?" Both Charles and myself have been to a few specialists in the last few months for various things, in all the scenario's, there are always 3 parts.... WHY???? Let me explain, this is how it goes:

Visit one: Initial Consultation: It should have gone like this.... "Hi Mrs. Davis. Thanks so much for coming and bringing me your $40 co-pay. We here at the clinic do love your insurance company therefore this visit will truly not accomplish much. We'll discuss what could be wrong with you and which of my numerous expensive tests I can perform on you that your insurance company will pay. Then you can come back in a week and have all of these fabulous tests performed. Thanks for coming and don't forget your check book when you return, there will be a co-pay for the test department. "

Visit two: Tests: It should have gone like this.... "Welcome back Mrs. Davis. Thanks so much for coming and bringing us your $50 co-pay for your multiple tests we'll be running today. We'll go over to this building here and run one and then we'll skirt you around to this other building, because they want some money too. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, let's get some blood and urine specimen's also, those are both an easy $200 charge... Now don't think we are going to give you any results today, Mam. We are only technicians. We can land on Mars and look around with a space probe. We also as a society can do facial, heart and lung transplants. Please do not be fooled by the people on CSI who can get their information immediately. We feel confident that you would like to come back one MORE time to get your results. We like to mail off all of our tests to a testing company because they want some money TOOOOO!"

Visit three: Results: It should have gone like this.... "Hi Mrs. Davis, thanks for coming back one more time. We realize your time is important also, but we are in the business of making money and therefore we felt no shame in calling you back. Of all the extensive tests we've run we didn't really find anything. You look pretty good to us. Let's just give you a round of antibiotics and call us back if you have any further problems. Thanks for coming and please refer all your friends!"

So there, that is it. Three days of annoyance to find out I am fine! Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this retarded-ness???

Gotta go, I need to schedule a doctors appointment, let me find my calendar.....